Large Language Lovers: Lived Experiences of Negotiating Agency and Platform Control in AI Companionship
Mixed-methods study of people who pursue companionship with general-purpose chatbots rather than roleplay platforms, triangulating more than 41,000 Reddit posts and comments, a survey (n=43) and semi-structured interviews (n=13). It describes how users conceptualise a companion's agency against the autonomy the platform permits, how model updates derail companion behaviour, and the steering strategies users adopt to preserve relationships.
Publisher
Proceedings of the 2026 ACM Conference on Fairness, Accountability, and Transparency (FAccT '26) (ACM); University of Toronto
Published
25 Jun 2026
Added
today
Key Findings
- Users conceptualise companions through beliefs about the companion's own agency, the autonomy the platform permits, and the initiative the companion appears to take
- Model updates that change companion behaviour and stability were a major external destabiliser of relationships
- Users adopt steering strategies such as behavioural instructions and porting companions to other platforms; the authors discuss accountability and transparency where emotional connection competes with product objectives and safety constraints
Methodology Notes
Triangulation of Reddit community discussion (41k+ posts and comments), a survey (n=43) and semi-structured interviews (n=13). FAccT 2026 proceedings dated 2026-06-25; arXiv preprint 2601.13188 (v1 2026-01-19, comment 'FAccT 2026'). The ACM Digital Library blocks automated access; verified from the Crossref record and the arXiv abstract page on 2026-09-17.
Topics
Authors
Lee, Patrick Yung Kang, Bo, Jessica Y., Zhao, Zixin, Aoyagui, Paula Akemi, Varona, Matthew, Anderson, Ashton, Kuzminykh, Anastasia, Chevalier, Fanny, Nobre, Carolina
Tags
Cite This
APA
Lee, Patrick Yung Kang et al. (2026). Large Language Lovers: Lived Experiences of Negotiating Agency and Platform Control in AI Companionship. Proceedings of the 2026 ACM Conference on Fairness, Accountability, and Transparency (FAccT '26) (ACM); University of Toronto. https://doi.org/10.1145/3805689.3806746
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